A few years ago I started listening to Bruce Springsteen. Unlike most people, I just didn't get the whole "Born to Run" thing. I do now, but it took a few years. The sound of the album was just too big. The album that hooked me and remains my favorite is "Darkness on the Edge of Town", the topic of this post.
I listened to that album three times in a row on the day I first heard it. I remember it very well. The sound is very different from "Born to Run". It's toned down a lot. Comparable to Neil Young's "Tonight's the Night" album. As usual, the lyrics is what got me. The whole album is basically saying "I tried my best, I failed and even though it looks impossible to win I'm going to give it another go". There's a whole lot more going on in it, but thats the part that spoke to me.
Last week Springsteen released a huge box set revolving around the album. I went for it. The remastered version is great on a surround sound system. It sounds like the band is in the room. There's also another two CDs of songs from the period which didnt make it onto the album. They're pretty good actually. Some of are earlier versions of songs that did make it onto the album. The most noticeable is the opener "Racing in the Streets ('78)". There is also some early versions of songs which would later be released on "The River" and "Born in the U.S.A.". Overall the similarities between the songs on "The Promise" and those found on later albums are pretty small. A lot of the songs are good but would not have fit the mood of "Darkness on the Edge of Town". A lot of them are actually quite upbeat.
Along with the 3 CDs are 3 DVDs. The first is a making of Darkness on the Edge of town. This documentary was on HBO and got a limited release in theatres, including the Toronto International Film Festival. It's not bad. Gives a lot of the back story behind the songs and you get to see the evolution they went through. The next DVD is Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band playing the whole album live to an empty theatre. The performance was filmed in October 2009, so you're seeing how they do it now as compared to 1978. And it was a great performance. I've watched it twice. Also on that disk are some rarities from concerts on the Darkness tour. The third DVD is a full concert filmed in Houston in 1978. Its nearly three hours in length and awesome. Apparently it was the only concert from the tour to escape bootleggers which is how it was chosen for release. The picture quality isn't the best, but one must keep in mind they weren't planning on releasing it when it was filmed. By watching them play those songs in 1978 and 2009 you can see a difference for sure, but they still got it.
I bought the box set largely because I love the album and wanted to know more about it. It's nearly $100 so you'd have to be a big Bruce Springsteen fan, or someone like me who just really loves the album. If you haven't heard the album yet you should. It's great for those days, or periods of life when everything seems to be going wrong.
Here's the last verse of the last song on the album which in my opinion was a great way to end it.
"Tonight I'll be on that hill/cause I can't stop/I'll be on that hill with everything I've got/Lives on the line where dreams are found and lost/I'll be there on top and I'll pay the cost/For want of things that can only be found/In the darkness on the edge of town
Friday, November 26, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
First Month
Greetings friends, accociates, countrymen.
No greetings to my enemies who may read this.
It's been a little over a month since my arrival in Ottawa so I figured I'd talk a bit about how things are going. Leaving Timmins was much easier this time around as compared to leaving three years ago. Adjusting also was a hell of a lot easier. For the move to Ottawa it took slightly less than two days to adjust to being here. Shadow's remains have helped a bit in that regard. When I left three years ago I missed him, now I have him here. I do miss the cats though but if all goes according to plan I'll have them back soon enough.
It took two days to get to Ottawa from Timmins. Normally that is not the case but my father and his girlfriend, Joy, decided to do it that way. I left Timmins mid morning on September 7th. I hadn't slept the night before so I was a bit of a zombie as I left. To make things a bit worse I hadn't eaten and had a large coffee on the way out of Timmins. Joy and I talked pretty much all the way to Cartier about all kinds of things. Mostly the conversations revolved around money, animals and politics. I quite enjoyed it. After arriving in Cartier Joy dropped me off at my great-aunt's house where I stayed most of the day. I hadn't seen her in over two years so there was a fair amount of catching up to do. She offered me beer, and I am not one to turn down free beer and so I had some while we played skip-bo. It was a lot of fun. Four beers later I went to my aunt's house to see her and my two younger cousins. I hadn't seen them in three years and noticed a huge difference. It was nice to see them all again. On the way back to meet Joy I went to the cemetary to visit my grandfather's grave. Thats a ritual I go through every time I go to Cartier, which isn't that often anymore. Joy then drove me to Sudbury where we met my father. They exchanged vehicles and passengers. Joy took my fathers dog, Calvin and my father took me to North Bay.
We left North Bay almost immediately after finishing the morning coffee. We stopped in Mattawa for subway and continued on our way. We discussed all kinds of things. Compared notes on our exploits and listened to music I normally do not listen to. We arrived in Ottawa in mid afternoon and quickly moved all of my stuff into the apartment. Cowboy Jim (Marshall) met us and helped a fair bit. My father had to leave immediately after unloading my stuff but he is set to return sometime before christmas.
Immediately after my father left Cowboy Jim and I went off to find the mysterious G-spot (The garden spot, a vegan restaurant at Carleton). We searched for hours. We knew the general location of where it was supposed to be but could not find the exact location. We asked several women about this place, and they just laughed. When we finally did find it, it was closed. It seemed to be a microcosm of male society. Several weeks later I did get in and enjoyed the food there. Nice people. Feels nice to be able to go to a restaurant and not be limited to one or two dishes which are usually side dishes. Ottawa is far more veg friendly than Timmins was, but not as good as Vancouver in that regard.
Part of the reason I chose to come to Ottawa was because it was the capital. I have been going to Parliament Hill about once a week since being here and enjoy myself each time. I was there when the gun registry vote took place (though I didnt manage to get into the gallery) and enjoyed the tension. I spoke with some of the media people who were on the hill and have learned a fair bit from them. First time I got into the gallery it was a full house. It was nice to see all of the leaders take part in question period, which from what I'm told is rare. Gilles Duceppe seems to be the most effective opposition leader at the moment. The government held their own during the two question periods I've been to. The last time I was on the hill was for the installation of David Johnston as the new Governor General. That was great, though I didn't care for all the standing. I guess one has to be a Senator for the luxury of sitting on such an occasion. I was able to get some decent pictures and videos of the event which one can see on my youtube channel.
http://www.youtube.com/user/WLDB?feature=mhum
Thank you, and good day.
No greetings to my enemies who may read this.
It's been a little over a month since my arrival in Ottawa so I figured I'd talk a bit about how things are going. Leaving Timmins was much easier this time around as compared to leaving three years ago. Adjusting also was a hell of a lot easier. For the move to Ottawa it took slightly less than two days to adjust to being here. Shadow's remains have helped a bit in that regard. When I left three years ago I missed him, now I have him here. I do miss the cats though but if all goes according to plan I'll have them back soon enough.
It took two days to get to Ottawa from Timmins. Normally that is not the case but my father and his girlfriend, Joy, decided to do it that way. I left Timmins mid morning on September 7th. I hadn't slept the night before so I was a bit of a zombie as I left. To make things a bit worse I hadn't eaten and had a large coffee on the way out of Timmins. Joy and I talked pretty much all the way to Cartier about all kinds of things. Mostly the conversations revolved around money, animals and politics. I quite enjoyed it. After arriving in Cartier Joy dropped me off at my great-aunt's house where I stayed most of the day. I hadn't seen her in over two years so there was a fair amount of catching up to do. She offered me beer, and I am not one to turn down free beer and so I had some while we played skip-bo. It was a lot of fun. Four beers later I went to my aunt's house to see her and my two younger cousins. I hadn't seen them in three years and noticed a huge difference. It was nice to see them all again. On the way back to meet Joy I went to the cemetary to visit my grandfather's grave. Thats a ritual I go through every time I go to Cartier, which isn't that often anymore. Joy then drove me to Sudbury where we met my father. They exchanged vehicles and passengers. Joy took my fathers dog, Calvin and my father took me to North Bay.
We left North Bay almost immediately after finishing the morning coffee. We stopped in Mattawa for subway and continued on our way. We discussed all kinds of things. Compared notes on our exploits and listened to music I normally do not listen to. We arrived in Ottawa in mid afternoon and quickly moved all of my stuff into the apartment. Cowboy Jim (Marshall) met us and helped a fair bit. My father had to leave immediately after unloading my stuff but he is set to return sometime before christmas.
Immediately after my father left Cowboy Jim and I went off to find the mysterious G-spot (The garden spot, a vegan restaurant at Carleton). We searched for hours. We knew the general location of where it was supposed to be but could not find the exact location. We asked several women about this place, and they just laughed. When we finally did find it, it was closed. It seemed to be a microcosm of male society. Several weeks later I did get in and enjoyed the food there. Nice people. Feels nice to be able to go to a restaurant and not be limited to one or two dishes which are usually side dishes. Ottawa is far more veg friendly than Timmins was, but not as good as Vancouver in that regard.
Part of the reason I chose to come to Ottawa was because it was the capital. I have been going to Parliament Hill about once a week since being here and enjoy myself each time. I was there when the gun registry vote took place (though I didnt manage to get into the gallery) and enjoyed the tension. I spoke with some of the media people who were on the hill and have learned a fair bit from them. First time I got into the gallery it was a full house. It was nice to see all of the leaders take part in question period, which from what I'm told is rare. Gilles Duceppe seems to be the most effective opposition leader at the moment. The government held their own during the two question periods I've been to. The last time I was on the hill was for the installation of David Johnston as the new Governor General. That was great, though I didn't care for all the standing. I guess one has to be a Senator for the luxury of sitting on such an occasion. I was able to get some decent pictures and videos of the event which one can see on my youtube channel.
http://www.youtube.com/user/WLDB?feature=mhum
Thank you, and good day.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Updates on my Summer
Good afternoon/evening friends and associates.
It has been a long time since I have posted anything. I find myself bored at the moment so we'll see what happens with this. Since June 13th I have done a fair bit of travelling, working and reading.
In late June I made my first trip to Ottawa where I stayed for about three days. That first trip was quite nice. Greg took me on a mini-tour of the important areas. He even agreed to go on a tour of the Parliament Buildings which I could not resist being the political junkie that I am. I look forward to going back there when Parliament is actually in session.
My second trip to Ottawa was very brief. I was in the city for about 17 hours in total. I simply went to secure an apartment. The apartment is on the 21st floor of a 22 floor apartment complex. I had not been in a building that high before. My fear of heights made the elevator ride and going near windows difficult but I managed. Also on this trip I bought some records at a record store downtown. I was pleased to find this place. They have some decent records there and its fairly cheap. I listened to a few of them as my turn table is already in Ottawa.
Shortly after this trip I severed my relations with On-Line Support. That job was extremely unpleasant. I will try to avoid the customer service industry for the rest of my life. Most customers are idiots with a false sense of entitlement. The nice reasonable ones are too few and far between to make such a job tolerable. Given the stresses such a job entails I think those who are in it should be making well above minimum wage. I quit nearly 5 weeks ago and feel much better (though my bank account suffers). That is fine. I'd rather be poor than depressed or insane.
On my third trip to Ottawa I went to orientation at Carleton. There I got a decent tour of the campus and was givin my student ID and bus pass. I wish I had had the hair cut done before that day, or at least had shaved on that day. I didn't, and as a result I look like a serial killer in my ID. Ah well, I suppose it was bound to happen at some point. After the orientation I went out to Kanata to see Michael Buble in concert. Unfortunately I left my camera at the apartment. I deeply regret that as the show was amazing. He played new songs and old ones. Of the old standards he played "Mack the Knife", "All of Me", "I've Got the World on a String" and "You're Nobody Til Somebody Loves You". I was happy, though my seat did once again test my fear of heights. I was on the third tier. Five rows down there is a drop and you can't see the tier below. The next thing down you see is the floor which is likely a good 8-10 stories below. I forgot all about that once the lights were dimmed and the show began.
On the way back to Timmins I stopped in North Bay to spend some time with my father. I was there for about four days. We went out on the boat and spent an afternoon at the beach with his girl friend. I took the train to Timmins from North Bay. I find the train to be much more comfortable than a bus. I wish there was a way of taking the train from North Bay to Ottawa. It would have been nice.
Also this summer I have decided to re-read War and Peace. I didn't get most of it first time around. I am also reading Brian Mulroney's Memoirs. I thought it was funny to note the only tax on the receipt for the latter was GST even though HST was supposed to have taken over a month before. About a week after buying that book I officially joined the NDP. Once I get into Ottawa I hope to become more involved with the party and see how it all works.
That is most likely going to be my last post from Timmins as I am leaving here in twelve days. Fare-thee-well.
It has been a long time since I have posted anything. I find myself bored at the moment so we'll see what happens with this. Since June 13th I have done a fair bit of travelling, working and reading.
In late June I made my first trip to Ottawa where I stayed for about three days. That first trip was quite nice. Greg took me on a mini-tour of the important areas. He even agreed to go on a tour of the Parliament Buildings which I could not resist being the political junkie that I am. I look forward to going back there when Parliament is actually in session.
My second trip to Ottawa was very brief. I was in the city for about 17 hours in total. I simply went to secure an apartment. The apartment is on the 21st floor of a 22 floor apartment complex. I had not been in a building that high before. My fear of heights made the elevator ride and going near windows difficult but I managed. Also on this trip I bought some records at a record store downtown. I was pleased to find this place. They have some decent records there and its fairly cheap. I listened to a few of them as my turn table is already in Ottawa.
Shortly after this trip I severed my relations with On-Line Support. That job was extremely unpleasant. I will try to avoid the customer service industry for the rest of my life. Most customers are idiots with a false sense of entitlement. The nice reasonable ones are too few and far between to make such a job tolerable. Given the stresses such a job entails I think those who are in it should be making well above minimum wage. I quit nearly 5 weeks ago and feel much better (though my bank account suffers). That is fine. I'd rather be poor than depressed or insane.
On my third trip to Ottawa I went to orientation at Carleton. There I got a decent tour of the campus and was givin my student ID and bus pass. I wish I had had the hair cut done before that day, or at least had shaved on that day. I didn't, and as a result I look like a serial killer in my ID. Ah well, I suppose it was bound to happen at some point. After the orientation I went out to Kanata to see Michael Buble in concert. Unfortunately I left my camera at the apartment. I deeply regret that as the show was amazing. He played new songs and old ones. Of the old standards he played "Mack the Knife", "All of Me", "I've Got the World on a String" and "You're Nobody Til Somebody Loves You". I was happy, though my seat did once again test my fear of heights. I was on the third tier. Five rows down there is a drop and you can't see the tier below. The next thing down you see is the floor which is likely a good 8-10 stories below. I forgot all about that once the lights were dimmed and the show began.
On the way back to Timmins I stopped in North Bay to spend some time with my father. I was there for about four days. We went out on the boat and spent an afternoon at the beach with his girl friend. I took the train to Timmins from North Bay. I find the train to be much more comfortable than a bus. I wish there was a way of taking the train from North Bay to Ottawa. It would have been nice.
Also this summer I have decided to re-read War and Peace. I didn't get most of it first time around. I am also reading Brian Mulroney's Memoirs. I thought it was funny to note the only tax on the receipt for the latter was GST even though HST was supposed to have taken over a month before. About a week after buying that book I officially joined the NDP. Once I get into Ottawa I hope to become more involved with the party and see how it all works.
That is most likely going to be my last post from Timmins as I am leaving here in twelve days. Fare-thee-well.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Family
In January of this year I decided to try out www.ancestry.ca to search into my family history. I had reached the limits of what my living relatives could tell me about it but wanted to know more. Ancestry offered a free two week trial. After two days I signed up for a one year membership which would provide me with access to all Canadian documents that Ancestry has access to. There were doubts of course given it is a website. Fortunately I had a decent understanding of my father's side of the family going back to the 1860s which allowed me to test its accuracy. It matched what I had been told, or had seen in old photographs.
The French portions of my family tree have been the easiest to trace. Most of them settles in the same areas from Quebec City, Montreal, Ottawa and up to Mattawa and places in between. They remained in that area some branches moving slowly west from 1649 up til about 1860 when they suddenly stopped moving westward. Some branches broke off and stayed in Quebec, others went south into the United States which is where their trail dries up.
The English/Irish portion on the other hand has been quite difficult. By comparison to the french sides of the family they haven't been here very long. My great great grandfather Burton came to Canada from Ireland sometime between 1848 and 1850. Given that Burton is a Welsh name the family must have originated somewhere in Britain rather than Ireland. Unfortunately I have not been able to track those records. My great great grandfather's name was "John Burton", a very common name in Ireland in the 1830s which unfortunately makes it difficult to figure out exactly who his parents were. The other Irish branch of the family would be the Rileys who came to Canada around the same time. Luke Riley came over and married an English woman named Mary Coleman. I still haven't found the exact date of their wedding, or of their arrival. I do however know when and where they were born, died and had children. They also settled along the Ottawa valley. Some of their children also went into the United States, others went up into Northern Ontario.
The German parts of the family are easy enough to find records for but understanding them is another issue. I know what happened from the time they arrived in Canada until today, but their lives before that and that of their ancestors remains a mystery to me due to a language barrier. Most of them started out in Canada working at the lumber mills in Quebec and Ontario from the 1850s to the 1880s. There are two distinct German branches, the Meyers and the Priebes who came at different times and did different things once they got here. Two generations after their arrival my great grandmother was born. She outlived all of my great grandparents and died only about five years before I was born.
While on Ancestry I've met and collaborated with distant relatives I knew nothing about before I started looking. Some of us may only share one relative from nearly two centuries ago, but it is still a connection. I haven't spoken to all of the ones I've encountered as there are too many. They are all scattered across North America and Europe. Some are relatively close by. My earliest known relative to arrive in Quebec has more than 400 Ancestry users linked to him as a common ancestor. It makes me wonder if I've ever seen one without knowing it. I may very well in the near future.
As many of you know I will be moving to Ottawa in the near future which is quite convenient for me for many reasons. One of which is that its right in the middle of where most of my known family history happened. Many were born, married and died within a few hours drive of Ottawa over several centuries. And thanks to google earch and google streetview I can see some of their homes as they appear today (few are still there) without leaving home. This is something I definitely plan on persuing while in Ottawa to find something more tangible than words and images on a computer screen. My father is also a member on Ancestry and has found several graves online of ancestors he'd like to see. We are hoping to go there at some point this summer. Thats a start.
The French portions of my family tree have been the easiest to trace. Most of them settles in the same areas from Quebec City, Montreal, Ottawa and up to Mattawa and places in between. They remained in that area some branches moving slowly west from 1649 up til about 1860 when they suddenly stopped moving westward. Some branches broke off and stayed in Quebec, others went south into the United States which is where their trail dries up.
The English/Irish portion on the other hand has been quite difficult. By comparison to the french sides of the family they haven't been here very long. My great great grandfather Burton came to Canada from Ireland sometime between 1848 and 1850. Given that Burton is a Welsh name the family must have originated somewhere in Britain rather than Ireland. Unfortunately I have not been able to track those records. My great great grandfather's name was "John Burton", a very common name in Ireland in the 1830s which unfortunately makes it difficult to figure out exactly who his parents were. The other Irish branch of the family would be the Rileys who came to Canada around the same time. Luke Riley came over and married an English woman named Mary Coleman. I still haven't found the exact date of their wedding, or of their arrival. I do however know when and where they were born, died and had children. They also settled along the Ottawa valley. Some of their children also went into the United States, others went up into Northern Ontario.
The German parts of the family are easy enough to find records for but understanding them is another issue. I know what happened from the time they arrived in Canada until today, but their lives before that and that of their ancestors remains a mystery to me due to a language barrier. Most of them started out in Canada working at the lumber mills in Quebec and Ontario from the 1850s to the 1880s. There are two distinct German branches, the Meyers and the Priebes who came at different times and did different things once they got here. Two generations after their arrival my great grandmother was born. She outlived all of my great grandparents and died only about five years before I was born.
While on Ancestry I've met and collaborated with distant relatives I knew nothing about before I started looking. Some of us may only share one relative from nearly two centuries ago, but it is still a connection. I haven't spoken to all of the ones I've encountered as there are too many. They are all scattered across North America and Europe. Some are relatively close by. My earliest known relative to arrive in Quebec has more than 400 Ancestry users linked to him as a common ancestor. It makes me wonder if I've ever seen one without knowing it. I may very well in the near future.
As many of you know I will be moving to Ottawa in the near future which is quite convenient for me for many reasons. One of which is that its right in the middle of where most of my known family history happened. Many were born, married and died within a few hours drive of Ottawa over several centuries. And thanks to google earch and google streetview I can see some of their homes as they appear today (few are still there) without leaving home. This is something I definitely plan on persuing while in Ottawa to find something more tangible than words and images on a computer screen. My father is also a member on Ancestry and has found several graves online of ancestors he'd like to see. We are hoping to go there at some point this summer. Thats a start.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Shadow Part II
Looking back at my last post it seems a bit depressing and negative so I thought I’d lighten it up a bit. In the last post I talked about Shadow’s decline, death and its immediate aftermath and only briefly touched on his life and why he is important to me. I hope to clear that up a bit with this post.
I had wanted a dog for a long time before we actually got Shadow. We did have a dog before him, Leroy, but he and I were not exactly close. He was a gigantic bloodhound which scared the hell out of me. Still, I liked him from a distance. He died in an accident at around age two. I remember the night he died fairly well. I was upset when he died but he was fairly easy for me to get over. He was my dad’s dog, not mine. About three years went by between Leroy’s death and Shadow’s arrival. They seemed like long years to me at the time which makes sense when you take into account I had only lived about five to eight years at the time. Several of my friends had dogs and I longed to have one myself. Then our neighbor got a black lab which was a nice surrogate for awhile. Still, it wasn’t the same.
Shadow was born November 28th 1996 in Chapleau. He was among the second of three litters that his parents were to have, well, so far as I know. His relatives were all over the place in Chapleau, I imagine some still are. I used to hang around a kid in Chapleau who had an “old” Labrador retriever which I later found out was Shadow’s grandmother. Getting Shadow was a complete surprise to me. Had you told me the day we got him that I was going to have a dog by the time the sun went down I would have been shocked and delighted.
I, my mother and sister went up town on a Saturday afternoon, January 18th 1997 to be exact. I don’t remember what we did downtown before we went to the pet store. Probably went to the Starlight restaurant as we often did at that time. Anyway, we went into the pet store and there were puppies there. Four if I remember correctly. They were all available for $50.00. Now, I’d like to say that I picked out Shadow instantly but that would be too good to be true. I actually liked one of his sisters. Oddly enough I think it was my sister who picked out Shadow. It took some convincing but my mother let us have one, but not the girl. I carried him home inside my jacket.
That night I slept in the living room with him. I woke up early the next day, around 4:30 AM and watched a movie on tv, “Fame”. First and so far only time I’ve seen that movie. Yes, my memory picks out random insignificant things to remember. I watched him sleep during commercials and was happy.
I became attached to him very quickly. I took him for walks often and played with him constantly. He was a fine distraction from the lingering effects of my parents break-up. It was about this time that I started to grow distant from my father, which was all right with me by that time. We would remain quite distant until shortly before I turned twenty. I went to Cartier for March break that year to see my grandmother and father. I was supposed to be there for eight days but returned after only four because I missed Shadow. I would have returned even sooner if the train schedule had allowed for it. I now found meetings with my father to be awkward and strange. Shadow was familiar and comfortable.
When Shadow was young I did something rather foolish. I turned him into a sled-dog. It was really fun at the time, he became quite popular with my small circle of friends as he took to the task quickly. Unfortunately this turned him into an incredibly strong and difficult to walk dog. He actually broke through several chains and cables which he used in the yard. We finally found a gigantic chain which we thought he’d never break through….two years later he did. When we moved from Minto to Pine Street it was with great difficulty that we got him there. Then when we moved from Chapleau to Timmins he broke out of the cage several times, rendering the cage unusable and destroying several straps in the process.
Around this period we went through several phases when it was not certain that we’d be able to keep Shadow. We moved twice, in both cases uncertain if the place would take animals. I lived in constant fear at that time. Not knowing filled me with fear and anger in the beginning stages of puberty which was already an emotional roller coaster for me. If I had lost him around that time it may have destroyed me, and that is no exaggeration. When we moved to Timmins I was in an odd situation. I had no friends, nor did I have any interest in having any from that school, which I despised. I was bullied for the duration of my stay at that school which fueled my anger and frustration. On top of that I had recently “reconciled” somewhat with my father after nearly two years of not speaking to or seeing him, by my choice. He made grand promises about how things would change, but they did not and that made things difficult as well. If not for Shadow being there for me it is quite likely that I would have snapped one way or another. Looking back at my state of mind at the time I find the possibilities of what may have happened quite scary. He slept in my room every night during this period. His presence alone put me at ease. It was mutual though. He was not the same way with other people as he was with me.
By age fourteen I was in a different school, was comfortable with who I was and had lost interest in becoming close with my father. I also was not in fear of losing Shadow. It was at this time that I did something up until then would have been unthinkable: I left for the summer. While away I thought about him every night. From what my mother has told me the transition was difficult on him too. He would come up to my room and stay there until he realized I was not there and was not coming back anytime soon. I got her to put me on speakerphone a few times which got him excited. I did the same thing the next two summers as well. Fourteen to seventeen remain my favorite years thus far.
When I was nineteen I went to live with my father briefly. Unfortunately I could not take Shadow with me, had I been able to it’s quite likely that I would have stayed. He wasn’t the deciding factor in my return to Timmins, but he would have been enough to keep me in North Bay easily. While in North Bay certain events transpired which nearly triggered a breaking point with my father and me. While it did not destroy my relationship with my father, it was enough for me to realize that we would not be able to live together. Early the following year I let go of all the things that bothered me throughout childhood about my father.
Over the next few years Shadow began to age slowly but surely. His fur faded to white in several areas. He became less energetic and eventually even lines appeared in his face. Even so he still seemed to think he was a puppy throughout his life. He still wanted to play and was still a challenge to walk steadily. Eventually he lost most of his hearing and the sight in one eye but the personality was still there. Apparently that was only with me though. My mother has told me that when I was not around he would isolate himself from everyone else in his final months. I never noticed this as I was not there. As soon as I would come home he would come to me and was happy. In the middle of the night I would sometimes go down to see him. As an insomniac it happened quite often. I wouldn’t always wake him up. Sometimes I’d just watch him. The reaction I’d get when I would wake him up is what I miss the most. He immediately bolted to life and the tail went wild. In his last two days he didn’t have the energy to do this. When he died I think I expected it to happen when I moved his body. Seeing him happy made me happy and vice versa. While I get along well with the cats here I don't have the same type of relationship with them as I did with Shadow. This has caused jealousy issues with one of the cats. She actually seems much happier around me since Shadow has been gone. All of the animals I've come across seem to like me immediately and the feeling is generally mutual. I actually prefer the company of animals to that of most humans. There will never be another Shadow, but I'm hoping there's always an animal of some sort around. Generally, I find them more trustworthy and friendly with the possible acception of wild black bears. I got pretty close to a few of those in Chapleau and they didn't seem very friendly or trustworthy.
I had wanted a dog for a long time before we actually got Shadow. We did have a dog before him, Leroy, but he and I were not exactly close. He was a gigantic bloodhound which scared the hell out of me. Still, I liked him from a distance. He died in an accident at around age two. I remember the night he died fairly well. I was upset when he died but he was fairly easy for me to get over. He was my dad’s dog, not mine. About three years went by between Leroy’s death and Shadow’s arrival. They seemed like long years to me at the time which makes sense when you take into account I had only lived about five to eight years at the time. Several of my friends had dogs and I longed to have one myself. Then our neighbor got a black lab which was a nice surrogate for awhile. Still, it wasn’t the same.
Shadow was born November 28th 1996 in Chapleau. He was among the second of three litters that his parents were to have, well, so far as I know. His relatives were all over the place in Chapleau, I imagine some still are. I used to hang around a kid in Chapleau who had an “old” Labrador retriever which I later found out was Shadow’s grandmother. Getting Shadow was a complete surprise to me. Had you told me the day we got him that I was going to have a dog by the time the sun went down I would have been shocked and delighted.
I, my mother and sister went up town on a Saturday afternoon, January 18th 1997 to be exact. I don’t remember what we did downtown before we went to the pet store. Probably went to the Starlight restaurant as we often did at that time. Anyway, we went into the pet store and there were puppies there. Four if I remember correctly. They were all available for $50.00. Now, I’d like to say that I picked out Shadow instantly but that would be too good to be true. I actually liked one of his sisters. Oddly enough I think it was my sister who picked out Shadow. It took some convincing but my mother let us have one, but not the girl. I carried him home inside my jacket.
That night I slept in the living room with him. I woke up early the next day, around 4:30 AM and watched a movie on tv, “Fame”. First and so far only time I’ve seen that movie. Yes, my memory picks out random insignificant things to remember. I watched him sleep during commercials and was happy.
I became attached to him very quickly. I took him for walks often and played with him constantly. He was a fine distraction from the lingering effects of my parents break-up. It was about this time that I started to grow distant from my father, which was all right with me by that time. We would remain quite distant until shortly before I turned twenty. I went to Cartier for March break that year to see my grandmother and father. I was supposed to be there for eight days but returned after only four because I missed Shadow. I would have returned even sooner if the train schedule had allowed for it. I now found meetings with my father to be awkward and strange. Shadow was familiar and comfortable.
When Shadow was young I did something rather foolish. I turned him into a sled-dog. It was really fun at the time, he became quite popular with my small circle of friends as he took to the task quickly. Unfortunately this turned him into an incredibly strong and difficult to walk dog. He actually broke through several chains and cables which he used in the yard. We finally found a gigantic chain which we thought he’d never break through….two years later he did. When we moved from Minto to Pine Street it was with great difficulty that we got him there. Then when we moved from Chapleau to Timmins he broke out of the cage several times, rendering the cage unusable and destroying several straps in the process.
Around this period we went through several phases when it was not certain that we’d be able to keep Shadow. We moved twice, in both cases uncertain if the place would take animals. I lived in constant fear at that time. Not knowing filled me with fear and anger in the beginning stages of puberty which was already an emotional roller coaster for me. If I had lost him around that time it may have destroyed me, and that is no exaggeration. When we moved to Timmins I was in an odd situation. I had no friends, nor did I have any interest in having any from that school, which I despised. I was bullied for the duration of my stay at that school which fueled my anger and frustration. On top of that I had recently “reconciled” somewhat with my father after nearly two years of not speaking to or seeing him, by my choice. He made grand promises about how things would change, but they did not and that made things difficult as well. If not for Shadow being there for me it is quite likely that I would have snapped one way or another. Looking back at my state of mind at the time I find the possibilities of what may have happened quite scary. He slept in my room every night during this period. His presence alone put me at ease. It was mutual though. He was not the same way with other people as he was with me.
By age fourteen I was in a different school, was comfortable with who I was and had lost interest in becoming close with my father. I also was not in fear of losing Shadow. It was at this time that I did something up until then would have been unthinkable: I left for the summer. While away I thought about him every night. From what my mother has told me the transition was difficult on him too. He would come up to my room and stay there until he realized I was not there and was not coming back anytime soon. I got her to put me on speakerphone a few times which got him excited. I did the same thing the next two summers as well. Fourteen to seventeen remain my favorite years thus far.
When I was nineteen I went to live with my father briefly. Unfortunately I could not take Shadow with me, had I been able to it’s quite likely that I would have stayed. He wasn’t the deciding factor in my return to Timmins, but he would have been enough to keep me in North Bay easily. While in North Bay certain events transpired which nearly triggered a breaking point with my father and me. While it did not destroy my relationship with my father, it was enough for me to realize that we would not be able to live together. Early the following year I let go of all the things that bothered me throughout childhood about my father.
Over the next few years Shadow began to age slowly but surely. His fur faded to white in several areas. He became less energetic and eventually even lines appeared in his face. Even so he still seemed to think he was a puppy throughout his life. He still wanted to play and was still a challenge to walk steadily. Eventually he lost most of his hearing and the sight in one eye but the personality was still there. Apparently that was only with me though. My mother has told me that when I was not around he would isolate himself from everyone else in his final months. I never noticed this as I was not there. As soon as I would come home he would come to me and was happy. In the middle of the night I would sometimes go down to see him. As an insomniac it happened quite often. I wouldn’t always wake him up. Sometimes I’d just watch him. The reaction I’d get when I would wake him up is what I miss the most. He immediately bolted to life and the tail went wild. In his last two days he didn’t have the energy to do this. When he died I think I expected it to happen when I moved his body. Seeing him happy made me happy and vice versa. While I get along well with the cats here I don't have the same type of relationship with them as I did with Shadow. This has caused jealousy issues with one of the cats. She actually seems much happier around me since Shadow has been gone. All of the animals I've come across seem to like me immediately and the feeling is generally mutual. I actually prefer the company of animals to that of most humans. There will never be another Shadow, but I'm hoping there's always an animal of some sort around. Generally, I find them more trustworthy and friendly with the possible acception of wild black bears. I got pretty close to a few of those in Chapleau and they didn't seem very friendly or trustworthy.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Shadow
I had been meaning to write another entry for some time. Unfortunately my dog Shadow died last week. His death was not unexpected, but that didn’t make it any easier. For the last three years or so my mother and I would talk from time to time about his eventual death as Labrador Retrievers rarely live as long as Shadow did. It always seemed as something far off that doesn’t need to be worried about right now.
In the first week of March Shadow started eating less and less. He lost a lot of weight very quickly. For a time I was worried that he would not make it through March, but he did. He suddenly started eating again. He put on some weight and returned to normal routines. I then wondered if he might live for many months to come, perhaps past September when I leave for Ottawa. Unfortunately it was not to be. In the second week of April he started eating less again. It took him three days to finish a bowl of food (though he had no trouble eating scraps for some reason). Then one night as he was going downstairs he fell. This had happened before but he had never hurt himself doing it before. I went downstairs to see if he was ok and saw that he had a limp in one of his hind legs. He would not be able to climb the stairs alone, and never would again. I carried him upstairs and put him down in the living room on his blanket. I stayed with him for about four hours and openly wept for the first time in years. I knew then that the time had come. That was a Tuesday night.
The next morning I got up and saw that Shadow’s walk had improved considerably since the night before. His hind leg was still acting up but it gave me hope that he might last until the weekend when I would have a day off. Around 6:00 PM on Thursday while I was at work I received a text from my sister saying that Shadow had taken a turn for the worse. I immediately left and went home. By the time I got there he was in rough shape. He could barely move or walk on his own and had trouble keeping small amounts of food down. It was too late by that time to bring him to the vet that night, but I knew that within 24 hours he would be dead.
I never left his side again from the time I got home on Thursday night until he died the next day. It was a very rough night for me. By the expressions the dog had on his face I’d say my night was rougher than his. He had no trouble sleeping through most of the night. His breathing was irregular which worried me. I thought that he may die in his sleep. He pulled through though. I spent the night and following morning trying to keep him comfortable, reminiscing and wishing it was me in his place. It was arranged to take him to the vet for noon on Friday. I carried him there as he could not walk, just as I carried him home the day we got him in January of 1997. My mother came with me and took care of the formalities for me as I was in no condition to deal with them myself. She laid one of Shadows blankets on the table for him. Once I had him weighed I put him on the table. I was shocked at what the scale read, 56 pounds. The vet explained the procedure to us then gave him the first injection to calm him down. We were told it would be about fifteen minutes before the final injection would be given. He handled the first one well after the initial pinch. I went down on my knees so I could look him in the eye and try to keep him calm. After a few seconds of looking at his face I couldn’t anymore without crying. Shortly before he was due for the final injection he started to panic. He barked and tried to get off the table. Even though he was crippled and drugged it took five of us to hold him steady for the second injection. Within seconds he was dead. My mother left the room immediately, then the vet’s assistants and finally the vet herself. I went into a state of shock. Shadow is dead. It’s still strange for me to write or say those words. All of the grief, anger, anxiety and frustration of the past week immediately disappeared. I moved his body into a more pleasing position as he was lying awkwardly from the struggle. It felt strange moving his lifeless body around. Surely this is not the being I spent last night with. It wasn’t. It was an empty shell. Even so I put an arm around his neck, kissed his head then said into his ear “I’ll see you later”. It was a habit. I used to do that before leaving for work, or school, or a trip. Anytime I was going somewhere if I saw him before leaving I’d do that. The vet told me that it would be a few weeks for his ashes, so I suppose what I said to him was right. I then left.
I spent the next two hours or so with my mother at Dan’s house as I did not want to go home. I was enjoying this shocked state of denial and didn’t want to ruin it by going home. We talked about life and death. Most of you know that I don’t believe in any God or afterlife of any kind. I flat out said to my mother that I thought “It’s all a bunch of bull shit the living make up to make themselves feel better”. She admitted it might be, but if it comforts people what’s the harm? There’s no harm in it, but it bothers me. My father’s response was “He’s in a better place”, to me that is not true. I saw him lying there on the table dead, waiting his turn to go into the furnace. Fortunately the next day my father clarified that statement, “I mean he’s not suffering anymore”. True.
That night was just as hard as the night before for me though. When I went home I opened the door to the basement and called him up, but he did not come. I looked down at the floor and his collar was lying there. Then just as suddenly as all the grief and pain had left me when Shadow died, it returned and then some. I collapsed and grabbed on to his collar. I went to the spot in the living room where I had been the night before and stayed there for several hours, unable to move. I cried then as I had never cried before. I yelled out his name many times thinking if I called loud enough he just might come back home. He did not.
I was eight years old when we got Shadow. I am now twenty-two. A lot has changed since then both physically, emotionally and socially for me. He was there for all of it. He helped me through my parent’s breakup, the move to Timmins, several broken hearts as a teenager and the beginnings of adulthood. He even factored into my decision to stop eating meat. I could not eat him, or any other animal I had met, so I would eat none. He was more important to me than most people. Well, I should correct that, no person was more important to me than him, he had a few equals though. I could always count on Shadow no matter what. Over the last thirteen years I have been let down by many people, but never by Shadow. Even as he was lying on the living room floor dying he seemed more concerned for me than for himself. He was my best friend.
In the first week of March Shadow started eating less and less. He lost a lot of weight very quickly. For a time I was worried that he would not make it through March, but he did. He suddenly started eating again. He put on some weight and returned to normal routines. I then wondered if he might live for many months to come, perhaps past September when I leave for Ottawa. Unfortunately it was not to be. In the second week of April he started eating less again. It took him three days to finish a bowl of food (though he had no trouble eating scraps for some reason). Then one night as he was going downstairs he fell. This had happened before but he had never hurt himself doing it before. I went downstairs to see if he was ok and saw that he had a limp in one of his hind legs. He would not be able to climb the stairs alone, and never would again. I carried him upstairs and put him down in the living room on his blanket. I stayed with him for about four hours and openly wept for the first time in years. I knew then that the time had come. That was a Tuesday night.
The next morning I got up and saw that Shadow’s walk had improved considerably since the night before. His hind leg was still acting up but it gave me hope that he might last until the weekend when I would have a day off. Around 6:00 PM on Thursday while I was at work I received a text from my sister saying that Shadow had taken a turn for the worse. I immediately left and went home. By the time I got there he was in rough shape. He could barely move or walk on his own and had trouble keeping small amounts of food down. It was too late by that time to bring him to the vet that night, but I knew that within 24 hours he would be dead.
I never left his side again from the time I got home on Thursday night until he died the next day. It was a very rough night for me. By the expressions the dog had on his face I’d say my night was rougher than his. He had no trouble sleeping through most of the night. His breathing was irregular which worried me. I thought that he may die in his sleep. He pulled through though. I spent the night and following morning trying to keep him comfortable, reminiscing and wishing it was me in his place. It was arranged to take him to the vet for noon on Friday. I carried him there as he could not walk, just as I carried him home the day we got him in January of 1997. My mother came with me and took care of the formalities for me as I was in no condition to deal with them myself. She laid one of Shadows blankets on the table for him. Once I had him weighed I put him on the table. I was shocked at what the scale read, 56 pounds. The vet explained the procedure to us then gave him the first injection to calm him down. We were told it would be about fifteen minutes before the final injection would be given. He handled the first one well after the initial pinch. I went down on my knees so I could look him in the eye and try to keep him calm. After a few seconds of looking at his face I couldn’t anymore without crying. Shortly before he was due for the final injection he started to panic. He barked and tried to get off the table. Even though he was crippled and drugged it took five of us to hold him steady for the second injection. Within seconds he was dead. My mother left the room immediately, then the vet’s assistants and finally the vet herself. I went into a state of shock. Shadow is dead. It’s still strange for me to write or say those words. All of the grief, anger, anxiety and frustration of the past week immediately disappeared. I moved his body into a more pleasing position as he was lying awkwardly from the struggle. It felt strange moving his lifeless body around. Surely this is not the being I spent last night with. It wasn’t. It was an empty shell. Even so I put an arm around his neck, kissed his head then said into his ear “I’ll see you later”. It was a habit. I used to do that before leaving for work, or school, or a trip. Anytime I was going somewhere if I saw him before leaving I’d do that. The vet told me that it would be a few weeks for his ashes, so I suppose what I said to him was right. I then left.
I spent the next two hours or so with my mother at Dan’s house as I did not want to go home. I was enjoying this shocked state of denial and didn’t want to ruin it by going home. We talked about life and death. Most of you know that I don’t believe in any God or afterlife of any kind. I flat out said to my mother that I thought “It’s all a bunch of bull shit the living make up to make themselves feel better”. She admitted it might be, but if it comforts people what’s the harm? There’s no harm in it, but it bothers me. My father’s response was “He’s in a better place”, to me that is not true. I saw him lying there on the table dead, waiting his turn to go into the furnace. Fortunately the next day my father clarified that statement, “I mean he’s not suffering anymore”. True.
That night was just as hard as the night before for me though. When I went home I opened the door to the basement and called him up, but he did not come. I looked down at the floor and his collar was lying there. Then just as suddenly as all the grief and pain had left me when Shadow died, it returned and then some. I collapsed and grabbed on to his collar. I went to the spot in the living room where I had been the night before and stayed there for several hours, unable to move. I cried then as I had never cried before. I yelled out his name many times thinking if I called loud enough he just might come back home. He did not.
I was eight years old when we got Shadow. I am now twenty-two. A lot has changed since then both physically, emotionally and socially for me. He was there for all of it. He helped me through my parent’s breakup, the move to Timmins, several broken hearts as a teenager and the beginnings of adulthood. He even factored into my decision to stop eating meat. I could not eat him, or any other animal I had met, so I would eat none. He was more important to me than most people. Well, I should correct that, no person was more important to me than him, he had a few equals though. I could always count on Shadow no matter what. Over the last thirteen years I have been let down by many people, but never by Shadow. Even as he was lying on the living room floor dying he seemed more concerned for me than for himself. He was my best friend.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Singer Lives!
Good afternoon to you fine people.
These last few weeks have been particularly good for me. I am once again employed full time and I have been accepted to my top choices for University. Also in this time frame my sister had a child, I spent a weekend with my father and went to quite an amazing concert.
In January I bought two tickets to see Steven Page and the Art of Time Ensemble in North Bay. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to use both tickets as my father wasn't sure if he'd be working or not. It wasn't until a few days before I went to North Bay that I knew my father would be free to come to the show. The venue was a small theatre which seemed to carry the sound very well. Of course, I was in the third row so it didn't have to carry well for me to hear it. I probably would have heard it all clearly without the sound system. All of the songs performed at the concert were covers, aside from "Running Out of Ink", which are on his new album "A Singer Must Die". I was particularly impressed with Page's voice. It sounds far better live than on a record. After about six songs Page left the stage and allowed the Art of Time Ensemble to perform a classical piece which I was impressed with. Neither I, nor my father had ever seen a classical piece performed by professional musicians. After an intermission everyone returned and performed the title track, "A Singer Must Die". After the song Page asked "You all know Leonard Cohen?"
*Applause*
"Oh, would you intruduce me?"
He had plenty of amusing anecdotes between songs which I enjoyed. He actually talked more than any other performer I've seen live. Right before leaving the stage before the encore someone requested "Brian Wilson", Page quickly said "We don't have that song anymore. I lost it in the divorce". He then announced that he has a new solo album of original material coming out in a few months followed by an extensive tour in which he would play old BNL songs as well as the new stuff. He promised to return to North Bay, I hope he keeps this promise. Or at the very least perform somewhere that is within a few hundred kilometres of where I am. I'd definitely make the trip to see him again. He closed by trying to appease the audience saying "This is a song I did with my old band" before going into The Beatles' "Oh! Darling". Technically that wasn't a lie as he did perform it several times with a different band.
He said during the show he'd be coming out to sign CDs if anyone wanted him to. He kept his word and came out after about a half hour. By the time he came there were only about 15 people left. The first person he went to was a young girl, no more than 8 years old. She was very worried throughout the wait that he would not come, as was I actually for her sake. It would be quite tragic to be dissapointed at that age. The look on her face when he came into the room was priceless. He talked to her for about a minute or so and was quite nice. I was third or fourth to go to him with a CD. I got him to sign "The Vanity Project" which was the only disc I didn't yet have...well, not legitimately anyway. He was great, really down to earth and friendly. I asked him a few short questions about the upcoming album and he didn't mind at all.
I made videos of a few of the performances which can be seen here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/WLDB?feature=mhw4
One of them is currently uploading and probably won't be up for a few hours. Farewell, until next time.
These last few weeks have been particularly good for me. I am once again employed full time and I have been accepted to my top choices for University. Also in this time frame my sister had a child, I spent a weekend with my father and went to quite an amazing concert.
In January I bought two tickets to see Steven Page and the Art of Time Ensemble in North Bay. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to use both tickets as my father wasn't sure if he'd be working or not. It wasn't until a few days before I went to North Bay that I knew my father would be free to come to the show. The venue was a small theatre which seemed to carry the sound very well. Of course, I was in the third row so it didn't have to carry well for me to hear it. I probably would have heard it all clearly without the sound system. All of the songs performed at the concert were covers, aside from "Running Out of Ink", which are on his new album "A Singer Must Die". I was particularly impressed with Page's voice. It sounds far better live than on a record. After about six songs Page left the stage and allowed the Art of Time Ensemble to perform a classical piece which I was impressed with. Neither I, nor my father had ever seen a classical piece performed by professional musicians. After an intermission everyone returned and performed the title track, "A Singer Must Die". After the song Page asked "You all know Leonard Cohen?"
*Applause*
"Oh, would you intruduce me?"
He had plenty of amusing anecdotes between songs which I enjoyed. He actually talked more than any other performer I've seen live. Right before leaving the stage before the encore someone requested "Brian Wilson", Page quickly said "We don't have that song anymore. I lost it in the divorce". He then announced that he has a new solo album of original material coming out in a few months followed by an extensive tour in which he would play old BNL songs as well as the new stuff. He promised to return to North Bay, I hope he keeps this promise. Or at the very least perform somewhere that is within a few hundred kilometres of where I am. I'd definitely make the trip to see him again. He closed by trying to appease the audience saying "This is a song I did with my old band" before going into The Beatles' "Oh! Darling". Technically that wasn't a lie as he did perform it several times with a different band.
He said during the show he'd be coming out to sign CDs if anyone wanted him to. He kept his word and came out after about a half hour. By the time he came there were only about 15 people left. The first person he went to was a young girl, no more than 8 years old. She was very worried throughout the wait that he would not come, as was I actually for her sake. It would be quite tragic to be dissapointed at that age. The look on her face when he came into the room was priceless. He talked to her for about a minute or so and was quite nice. I was third or fourth to go to him with a CD. I got him to sign "The Vanity Project" which was the only disc I didn't yet have...well, not legitimately anyway. He was great, really down to earth and friendly. I asked him a few short questions about the upcoming album and he didn't mind at all.
I made videos of a few of the performances which can be seen here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/WLDB?feature=mhw4
One of them is currently uploading and probably won't be up for a few hours. Farewell, until next time.
Friday, February 12, 2010
#17
It's been nearly a month since my last post so I figured I'd write another. In five days time I shall turn 22, the same age that Buddy Holly was when he died. I shall use that excuse to continue to avoid airplanes. I have an extreme fear of heights which is somewhat inconvenient. Well, it's good for my wallet as buses and trains are generally a cheaper way to travel. Even so this fear made going through the rockies in B.C. a bit scary at times. I remember looking over a cliff that the bus was driving along and I suddenly started to panic inside. I didn't let it show. From that point on I did not look down from the window.
This morning I finished reading Ernest Hemingway's "A Moveable Feast". I read it in three sittings over about a week. It was recommended to me a few months ago by a friend of mine. I had never read anything by Hemingway and so I decided to start with this. I also have a film adaptation of "For Whom the Bell Tolls" but have not watched it. If I can find a copy of the book I'll read it before watching the film. Anyhow, back to "A Moveable Feast". It's a memoir of sorts about Hemingway's time living in Paris during the 1920s. His introduction to the book leaves it up to the reader to decide whether the book is fiction or not. It makes no difference to me, I enjoyed it in any case. I particularly liked the last third of the book as it focused on his experiences with Scott Fitzgerald who at the time had just finished "The Great Gatsby". Hemingway writes of Fitzgerald's weaknesses for both alcohol and his wife, Zelda. Hemingway considered both of these influences to be a negative thing for Fitzgerald. Though Hemingway had the benefit of hindsight as he wrote this book several years after Fitzgerald died. In fact, most of the people he speaks of in this book were dead by the time he wrote it. In fact Hemingway himself was dead by the time it was finally published. Though I suppose hindsight isn't really needed to recognize an alcoholic in a toxic marriage.
I spoke to my father about a week ago about going to North Bay next month. He's up to it and so I shall go. I'm going there to see Steven Page perform, if my father isn't working he'll be joining me. I look forward to it. Page will be promoting his album of cover songs called "A Singer Must Die". Judging by the track list to that album I'd be fine with him only playing songs from that album. Speaking of "A Singer Must Die", I've been listening to a lot of Leonard Cohen over the last two months or so. I've been reading his poetry as well. I find his work to be quite interesting, enjoyable and at times shocking. Well, if it were written today it wouldn't be too shocking but for the time it was written it was.
Today I shall go to the library if the weather permits. That is all for now. Fare-thee-well.
This morning I finished reading Ernest Hemingway's "A Moveable Feast". I read it in three sittings over about a week. It was recommended to me a few months ago by a friend of mine. I had never read anything by Hemingway and so I decided to start with this. I also have a film adaptation of "For Whom the Bell Tolls" but have not watched it. If I can find a copy of the book I'll read it before watching the film. Anyhow, back to "A Moveable Feast". It's a memoir of sorts about Hemingway's time living in Paris during the 1920s. His introduction to the book leaves it up to the reader to decide whether the book is fiction or not. It makes no difference to me, I enjoyed it in any case. I particularly liked the last third of the book as it focused on his experiences with Scott Fitzgerald who at the time had just finished "The Great Gatsby". Hemingway writes of Fitzgerald's weaknesses for both alcohol and his wife, Zelda. Hemingway considered both of these influences to be a negative thing for Fitzgerald. Though Hemingway had the benefit of hindsight as he wrote this book several years after Fitzgerald died. In fact, most of the people he speaks of in this book were dead by the time he wrote it. In fact Hemingway himself was dead by the time it was finally published. Though I suppose hindsight isn't really needed to recognize an alcoholic in a toxic marriage.
I spoke to my father about a week ago about going to North Bay next month. He's up to it and so I shall go. I'm going there to see Steven Page perform, if my father isn't working he'll be joining me. I look forward to it. Page will be promoting his album of cover songs called "A Singer Must Die". Judging by the track list to that album I'd be fine with him only playing songs from that album. Speaking of "A Singer Must Die", I've been listening to a lot of Leonard Cohen over the last two months or so. I've been reading his poetry as well. I find his work to be quite interesting, enjoyable and at times shocking. Well, if it were written today it wouldn't be too shocking but for the time it was written it was.
Today I shall go to the library if the weather permits. That is all for now. Fare-thee-well.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
A Pretty Fun Night
Well I've just returned from another Blue Rodeo concert. I'm not sure if this is number five or six for me. Kind of neat that I waited six years to see them for the first time and have now lost count of the number of times I've seen them.
The last time I saw them was in Kapuskasing back in July. It was a hot, poorly ventilated arena where alcohol flowed freely and clothes were optional. The total opposite of tonight's show.
Tonight's show in Kirkland Lake took place in a small 500 seat auditorium. According to the page promoting it this is the smallest venue of the tour. I was worried that I wasn't going to get a good seat as it was general admission and there was a huge line when I arrived. Then I entered the auditorium and saw that there wasn't a bad seat in the place. I managed to get a fifth row seat. This was by far the smallest venue I've ever been to for a concert. It was like the shows they used to put on in high school-except with better acoustics and a better sound system.
The opening act was Cuff the Duke. They got off to a bit of a rough start, but it wasn't their fault. It's their last night on the tour so the crew decided to play a few pranks on them. The first was taping the drumsticks together and putting baby powder on the top of the drums. That made a bit of a mess. It wasn't long before the smell of baby powder was everywhere in the auditorium. Two songs in and the crew sent a remote control truck on stage which startled the lead singer during the chorus of the song. The audience was very quiet throughout the set. They clapped for about 15 seconds per song. The lead singer asked "If we were to come back to Kirkland Lake and maybe play in a bar, would you be this quiet?"
"No!"
For their last song the band stepped off the stage, which is basically taking one step down and played completely unplugged without mics. The sound still carried pretty well. You could hear the guitar and understand the words perfectly. While they were playing the song two members of the crew came out with duct tape and taped the band together. They were real troopers though and somehow managed to keep playing and singing til the song was done no matter how tight together they were.
A half hour later Blue Rodeo took to the stage.
They opened with "Never Look Back", a song from their new album. Greg Keelor's mic volume was too low for the first song so Jim Cuddy ended up sounding like he was doing the lead vocal in the song. It was an interesting accident. By the next song Greg's mic was put back to the right volume. They had several guests on stage with them composing a small string section. Today happens to be the birthday of one of those guests, Anne Lindsay. They had a cake brought up for her and everyone sang Happy Birthday. It was a nice little moment. She was full of energy too. Her violin solo on "It Could Happen to You" was awesome.
Sadly the audience remained fairly quiet through most of the entire concert. The loudest they got was at the end of the keyboard solo on "5 Days in May". Though I must give the audience some credit on that. The keyboard solos were amazing. For me that was the best solo I've ever seen live on any instrument.
Since the first time I saw them my favorite part of the show has been the sing along for "Hasn't Hit Me Yet". Given how quiet the audience was I was worried this would not happen this time...and I was right. Greg came out in front of the stage and started playing and the audience didn't sing along. "Whats wrong?", Greg asks, "You don't know the words?"
The audience said "Yes".
"Well come on folks, lets sing". Finally they started very weakly but by this point we were at the chorus. I was really unhappy about that for the rest of the song.
At the end of the show they said they'd come out and sign CDs. So I bought one for the sake of getting a signed copy. (I now have an extra CD copy of "The Things We Left Behind". If anyone wants it let me know) They came out and were very friendly. I talked to Bob Egan about one of his solo albums, "The Glorious Decline". He was surprised that I brought it up and jokingly said "So, you're one of the 300 people who bought it". I had to move along quickly as there was a pretty big lineup behind me.
Overall I'd say this is the finest performance I've seen from Blue Rodeo. I only wish the audience had been a little more lively. This is the first concert I've been too where everyone was sober. Maybe that had something to do with it.
Set List:
Never Look Back
One More Night
Rain Down on Me
Don't Let the Darkness in Your Head
Head Over Heels
It Could Happen to You
In My Bones (the fellow behind me thought this was going to be Dark Angel. So did I actually til the cello kicked in)
Candice
Rose Coloured Glasses
5 Days in May
All the Things That are Left Behind
Cynthia
Wasted
And When You Wake Up
Gossip
Heart Like Mine
Trust Yourself
Hasn't Hit Me Yet
Diamond Mine
Encore:
Til I Am Myself Again
Try
Lost Together
The last time I saw them was in Kapuskasing back in July. It was a hot, poorly ventilated arena where alcohol flowed freely and clothes were optional. The total opposite of tonight's show.
Tonight's show in Kirkland Lake took place in a small 500 seat auditorium. According to the page promoting it this is the smallest venue of the tour. I was worried that I wasn't going to get a good seat as it was general admission and there was a huge line when I arrived. Then I entered the auditorium and saw that there wasn't a bad seat in the place. I managed to get a fifth row seat. This was by far the smallest venue I've ever been to for a concert. It was like the shows they used to put on in high school-except with better acoustics and a better sound system.
The opening act was Cuff the Duke. They got off to a bit of a rough start, but it wasn't their fault. It's their last night on the tour so the crew decided to play a few pranks on them. The first was taping the drumsticks together and putting baby powder on the top of the drums. That made a bit of a mess. It wasn't long before the smell of baby powder was everywhere in the auditorium. Two songs in and the crew sent a remote control truck on stage which startled the lead singer during the chorus of the song. The audience was very quiet throughout the set. They clapped for about 15 seconds per song. The lead singer asked "If we were to come back to Kirkland Lake and maybe play in a bar, would you be this quiet?"
"No!"
For their last song the band stepped off the stage, which is basically taking one step down and played completely unplugged without mics. The sound still carried pretty well. You could hear the guitar and understand the words perfectly. While they were playing the song two members of the crew came out with duct tape and taped the band together. They were real troopers though and somehow managed to keep playing and singing til the song was done no matter how tight together they were.
A half hour later Blue Rodeo took to the stage.
They opened with "Never Look Back", a song from their new album. Greg Keelor's mic volume was too low for the first song so Jim Cuddy ended up sounding like he was doing the lead vocal in the song. It was an interesting accident. By the next song Greg's mic was put back to the right volume. They had several guests on stage with them composing a small string section. Today happens to be the birthday of one of those guests, Anne Lindsay. They had a cake brought up for her and everyone sang Happy Birthday. It was a nice little moment. She was full of energy too. Her violin solo on "It Could Happen to You" was awesome.
Sadly the audience remained fairly quiet through most of the entire concert. The loudest they got was at the end of the keyboard solo on "5 Days in May". Though I must give the audience some credit on that. The keyboard solos were amazing. For me that was the best solo I've ever seen live on any instrument.
Since the first time I saw them my favorite part of the show has been the sing along for "Hasn't Hit Me Yet". Given how quiet the audience was I was worried this would not happen this time...and I was right. Greg came out in front of the stage and started playing and the audience didn't sing along. "Whats wrong?", Greg asks, "You don't know the words?"
The audience said "Yes".
"Well come on folks, lets sing". Finally they started very weakly but by this point we were at the chorus. I was really unhappy about that for the rest of the song.
At the end of the show they said they'd come out and sign CDs. So I bought one for the sake of getting a signed copy. (I now have an extra CD copy of "The Things We Left Behind". If anyone wants it let me know) They came out and were very friendly. I talked to Bob Egan about one of his solo albums, "The Glorious Decline". He was surprised that I brought it up and jokingly said "So, you're one of the 300 people who bought it". I had to move along quickly as there was a pretty big lineup behind me.
Overall I'd say this is the finest performance I've seen from Blue Rodeo. I only wish the audience had been a little more lively. This is the first concert I've been too where everyone was sober. Maybe that had something to do with it.
Set List:
Never Look Back
One More Night
Rain Down on Me
Don't Let the Darkness in Your Head
Head Over Heels
It Could Happen to You
In My Bones (the fellow behind me thought this was going to be Dark Angel. So did I actually til the cello kicked in)
Candice
Rose Coloured Glasses
5 Days in May
All the Things That are Left Behind
Cynthia
Wasted
And When You Wake Up
Gossip
Heart Like Mine
Trust Yourself
Hasn't Hit Me Yet
Diamond Mine
Encore:
Til I Am Myself Again
Try
Lost Together
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
So it Begins
Well, hello everyone.
In mid December I told you that I would be doing a full decade in review. My first part ended off somewhere in 2005. I have since decided that some events are still a bit too recent to share in this format. For now anyway. Don't worry, I'll still manage to bore you with those events in some detail at a later time. You may be asking yourself, "how?" Well the answer is quite easy actually. A semi-autobiographical novel. Yes, you read that right.
Last summer I was made aware of a competition at in which people must write 50,000 words or more in a period of 30 days. I was tempted to join last year and write a work of historical fiction. I guarantee that work would have been mediocre at best considering the extremely limited time frame I had. I decided I would do it this year instead. In a sense I can keep the genre of historical fiction as it will be semi-autobiographical. The most common piece of advice I have come across from books, websites and writers is "write what you know". Well, I know me. I know my past. I also know some other things which is where the fiction part will come in. Gore Vidal has said it took four years of research to write one of his works of historical fiction, "Lincoln". I don't really have that much time at the moment. Perhaps later on in life. Ten months seems like enough time to research myself and a few other things to put together a novel of sorts. The semi-autobiography idea came to me on New Year's eve when the first five pages literally just came to me. I should note that I was drunk at the time. As many know when you are drunk certain ideas that seem good at the time often seem like bad ones the next morning. This one didn't fall into that category. I woke up the next morning and I still had those five pages in my head so I put them down on paper and was pleased with it. I knew I could do this when I re-read it a few days later and still liked it. That is my goal for this year.
If all goes according to plan I will be in University come September. I sent in the applications about a month ago now and have been acknowledged by all the school's I have applied to. All I have to do now is write them a little 1000 word piece about my life since leaving high school and why I think I can succeed at University. Sounds easy enough.
In about a week I'll be taking a short trip to the great metropolis of Kirkland Lake. Why? To see Blue Rodeo once again, of course. I'm hoping that the weather will co-operate as I will have a long walk ahead of me from the venue to my hotel. If google maps is to be trusted the walk is about 6 km. Normally I wouldn't mind but winter weather and I do not get along well.
That is all for now. Farewell.
In mid December I told you that I would be doing a full decade in review. My first part ended off somewhere in 2005. I have since decided that some events are still a bit too recent to share in this format. For now anyway. Don't worry, I'll still manage to bore you with those events in some detail at a later time. You may be asking yourself, "how?" Well the answer is quite easy actually. A semi-autobiographical novel. Yes, you read that right.
Last summer I was made aware of a competition at in which people must write 50,000 words or more in a period of 30 days. I was tempted to join last year and write a work of historical fiction. I guarantee that work would have been mediocre at best considering the extremely limited time frame I had. I decided I would do it this year instead. In a sense I can keep the genre of historical fiction as it will be semi-autobiographical. The most common piece of advice I have come across from books, websites and writers is "write what you know". Well, I know me. I know my past. I also know some other things which is where the fiction part will come in. Gore Vidal has said it took four years of research to write one of his works of historical fiction, "Lincoln". I don't really have that much time at the moment. Perhaps later on in life. Ten months seems like enough time to research myself and a few other things to put together a novel of sorts. The semi-autobiography idea came to me on New Year's eve when the first five pages literally just came to me. I should note that I was drunk at the time. As many know when you are drunk certain ideas that seem good at the time often seem like bad ones the next morning. This one didn't fall into that category. I woke up the next morning and I still had those five pages in my head so I put them down on paper and was pleased with it. I knew I could do this when I re-read it a few days later and still liked it. That is my goal for this year.
If all goes according to plan I will be in University come September. I sent in the applications about a month ago now and have been acknowledged by all the school's I have applied to. All I have to do now is write them a little 1000 word piece about my life since leaving high school and why I think I can succeed at University. Sounds easy enough.
In about a week I'll be taking a short trip to the great metropolis of Kirkland Lake. Why? To see Blue Rodeo once again, of course. I'm hoping that the weather will co-operate as I will have a long walk ahead of me from the venue to my hotel. If google maps is to be trusted the walk is about 6 km. Normally I wouldn't mind but winter weather and I do not get along well.
That is all for now. Farewell.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)